A Simple Thing Called Love

i had a really bad day.
really wanted to go back home and stuff.
but hazie wanted company for SS.
so she forced me to stay.
and i totally screwed up the test.
my handwriting was horrible.
and i dnoe what the hell i wrote.
i even had time to sleep man.
the whole day was spent with a throbbing headache.
did i actually wait for tdae, the 3periods of heavenly bliss, to get hurt?
why is she doing this?
im so miserable now okay.
H is a nice person, then why?
the way she called shamini and kept touching her made me so angry and unhappy.
i never had intentions to hurt anyone deliberately.
looks like now i have.
and i expected her to talk to me.
but not what she said.
"shamita, why is shamini so upset?"
shes not even upset larh.
i know tht shamini for 2.5 years alright.
she doesnt really have feelings man.
ive rarely, really rarely seen her sad.
why should she be sad?
shes NATURALLY so clever.
unlike me struggling here.
okay fine, maybe shes upset.
but isnt it coz of stress?
hello? if she is stressed, then what abt pple like me?
very relaxed arh?
how come she doesnt notice all these?
how come she only noticed the fact that SHAMINI is upset?
maybe she noticed. -shrugs
but doesnt bother abt me.
she cares only abt SHAMINI.
doesnt shamini realise im no longer close to her?
i dont even talk that much.
coz i cant help it.
im jealous, frustrated and tired of it.
okay shamini, you're upset.
coz i BEGGED you countless number of times to not talk to H rite?
fine, go ahead.
talk all you want, flirt all you want.
so that you wont be upset.
and dont fcking care abt me.
coz if you do, i'll scream at you.
its so ironical.
this morning when i told shamini that H came, she was so sad.
she doesnt even wanna see H.
who was the happy one?
when H was injured, she didnt even worry one bit.
who was the worried one?
she doesnt even say nice things abt H.
who always supports H?
doesnt she notice all the little things in life?
who pulled a table and chair for her tdae?
who makes sure that pple dont talk bad stuff abt her?
who, dammit.
ME, rite?
notice the irony?
she cares NOT abt me.
ive got nothing to say larh seriously.
go ahead, both of you.
talk everyday, care abt each other everyday, walk down the rotunda tgether everday.
juz continue.
im not stopping you.
how many tears i'd have cried?
hope she thinks abt it, seriously.
and shamini, im not gonna beg you anymore.
its not one day or one week.
you've been doing this to me for THREE DAMN YEARS.
do i need to go to school tmrw? tsk.

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♥ Shamita Eng
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